I know I am but summer to your heart, and not the full four seasons of the year. -Edna St. Vincent Millay

Many years ago, I came to the realization that no one is immune to infidelity. I mean, you can't walk down an aisle at Publix without bumping into someone who has experienced it in some way or another. Something I've learned is that there are situations where making a relationship work isn't worth it if you're shelling out more than you actually have. Sometimes it's impossible to unring that bell. And if you're in this incessant debt because you've literally exhausted every effort trying to fix the problems, it's time to move on. Running on empty your whole life only means you'll die tired.

But it's hard, at the the same time, to just give up and walk away. It's hard not to wonder, especially in situations of infidelity, what the other person has that you don't. Why were you good enough at one point in time but now you don't suffice? Did you change or was it your mate? If the proverbial mistress was the better choice all along, do you just throw your hat in the ring and move on? Or do you fight for what you want? Damn the consequences or whoever else gets hurt if it means your needs are met? Where do you draw the line? Who deserves the respect in these situations? Who gets scorned and who gets dinner at Ceviche's? Who reverts to a whiskey bender and who basks proudly in their newly inherited singledom?

Look, I do three things well: Drink whiskey (and there's a reason that one is Number One...), play music, and sift through male chronic bullshit. I'm so good at that last one, as a matter of fact, that I'm basically majoring in it in college. So naturally, when people tell me about their romantic problems, I listen intently because after all, all of life is just one big learning experience. Most of them I genuinely feel for because I know what good people they are. However, there are moments when I feel like these trusting, goodhearted people need to be shaken, to be startled back to life. Because I think to myself, "There's no way this intelligent individual could really believe this boat load of bullshit, is there...?" But sadly, in nearly every case, there IS a way. They DO believe it. So all aboard the SS This Girl Will Believe Anything!

Shame is the most powerful, master emotion. It's the fear that we're not good enough. -Brene Brown
I know this couple who has been together for years. Like practically their whole life, amount of years. They've had ups and downs, like any other couple, and their passion knows no bounds. When they get along, it's wonderful. Everything is vintage bottles of Chianti and Frank Sinatra love songs. When it's bad, the passion seems twenty-fold and it's frightening. Tables get flipped, doors get hacked into pieces, old and reused insults adding more to the injury. They scream and slam doors, pouring salt on old wounds, and swearing that this time is the last time.

But friends, it never ends. These fights and behaviors are cyclic. In some warped, twisted way, they need each other. They love each other, then they hate each other. They claim they want to move on, let go of this volatile brand of love they share. But then again, they know that they'll never find anyone better. Like Tony and Carmella. One sick little Italian love story.

But then there's this other couple. They've been together for many, many years. They've known each other for literally their entire lives, growing up as neighbors who were forever attending the same schools and social functions. They grew up together but somehow, despite all of this, they were spared.

You would think that after decades of knowing someone, you'd be immune to their imperfections, maybe even grow to love and appreciate them over time. But this couple was different. One of the participants growing more hateful and bitter with everyday that passed. And as more time passed, they were more like strangers sharing a brownstone than lovers creating a pleasure filled life.

And I'm not one to take sides. It actually goes against everything I believe in. But being incessantly put down every goddamn day of your life, well... only so much time passes before you find yourself believing it. No one should have to live their entire existence feeling inferior. Especially when the person pointing out all your faults is the one who's supposed to lift you up, to love you when no one else does.

And it is easy to believe you are not good enough if you listen to everybody else. -Makenzie Astin

So in these situations, where you've been with someone for years, when you feel like they know you better than anyone, how do you get past the idealization that you aren't good enough? That you'll never be good enough? That those years spent bettering yourself were seemingly worth nothing because all you have to comfort yourself is a scowl and an insult, and the realization that you'll never amount to the expectations allegedly set for you.

They say that every relationship needs a hero, that there is good in everyone no matter how inexplicable. But when you've been beaten down your who life by the one person who promised to forever appreciate you, who's left to alleviate the shattered pieces of heartache that are left?

When people promise that things will be different, that you're the only love in their life, do you believe them even though you can see through the facade? Do you allow them to think you trust them even though you know they're spending their nights with someone else?

Who's right? Who's the hero? Who loses sleep at night?

Moral of the Crazy: Problems like these touch my little black heart a great deal. To be honest, given my own personal life, I find myself justifying such issues. I sort of pick my battles because that's how I was raised. Respect and reputation are things that have gone hand and hand for many years within my family. And as such, there are some things better left unsaid. There are so many words left unspoken.

But I don't think you should ever have to struggle with the question of whether or not you're good enough. Because that, friends, that shouldn't be left up to other people. You should be loved for who you are. Not judged for who you're not.

 Statistically speaking, there is a 65% chance that the love of your life is having an affair. Be very suspicious. -Scott Dikkers