Men get to be a mixture of the charming mannerisms of the women they have known. -F. Scott Fitzgerald

As an average soul searching , flesh and blood woman with the propensity to occasionally fall for the male induced nonsense, I must shamefully admit that there is something deliciously scandalous about the proverbial Lothario. He has a certain brand of finesse that can't be taught. He is debonair and blindingly attractive and this aforementioned attractiveness will inevitably come in handy when he is accidentally plotting the demise of your seemingly perfect relationship.

It's almost as if his kisses are made all the more delicious because despite what your stupid heart says, you know deep down that they're illicit. This charming Lothario is a bad, bad boy. He clearly knows nothing of relationships given the fact that he has more notches in his bed post than the ever sexually active Christian Troy. The problem lies in the realization that he does everything right, no matter how much it may hurt later. And just like that, you've fallen prey to his dangerously sensual seduction. Quicker than you can drink an old fashioned, friends.

I have been a victim of the Lothario's alluring darkness a carnie handful of times myself. It's easy to miss the trouble walking into the bar when he's camouflaged by smoldering brown eyes and a skillfully chiseled man body. All he has to do is speak to you with that voice of Bing Crosby and the swag of George Clooney (one of my personal favorites) and BAM! You're led astray. Like a lamb to the slaughterhouse. (I'm obviously not very good at metaphors but you get the gist.)

It starts with maybe an out of nowhere compliment. Something totally vague and meaningless like, "Your eyes are incredible, like emeralds..." or "You're more of an inspiration than you could ever know..." and from there, you've taken the bait and fallen under the spell of an insensitive, although surprisingly handsome and charming, piece of Lothario pie.

It can be very, very dangerous, especially for those who fail to recognize its potency. You all know who I'm talking about: those ungodly gorgeous ladies who are in fact so beautiful that they're somehow lacking any sort of brain power? (Which, in my opinion, is almost as ludicrous as those little baby corns they put in vegetable mixes. I mean seriously, if you buy it in a can, it cannot be a vegetable!) God help those poor, gorgeous ladies. I fear for them, friends. Truly.

A man of such obvious and exemplary charm must be a liar. -Anita Brookner

I honestly don't think I could have written truer words myself. The main reason that it's virtually impossible to trust any man, more especially the aforementioned Lothario, is because charm, trickery and lying are embedded in their DNA. The real truth is that the majority of men, good or bad, are primarily great at three things: Pleasing ladies, drinking booze and lying. (And those are obviously in no particular order because leisure domains may vary.)

I would never, ever consider myself a man hater because I love men and sometimes, I even envy them. (That doesn't usually last very long though because I love make up, high heels and getting pedicures. Plus I literally hate any kind of physical labor. I barely even get my own gas! Okay, I take it back. I could never be a man.) But subjective adoration for men aside, there is a pretty large amount of them who obsessively seduce and deceive women like it's their job and they're up for a promotion. And people hate on Eve (... like the one from the Garden of Eden. Not the one with the paw print tattoos on her breasts.) and Megan Fox. Come on, friends! They're probably just as equally deceived as the rest of us!

I remember some time ago, a girlfriend of mine fell prey to a Casanova of her own. Shock of the century, however, said Casanova had something of a "secret" girlfriend. Now, when I say "secret", I mean that my friend knew all about this semi secret girlfriend long before he decided to actually own up to dating her. This isn't the first time I've seen this. (And uh, word to the wise boys: Facebook can be incredibly informative and pretty incriminating, turns out. Just because you don't have your relationship status listed on your profile page doesn't make you single. It makes you a creep for not admitting to the relationship you share with a girl you definitely don't deserve.)

But anyway, he's still begging to see my friend, swearing up and down that him and his girlfriend weren't as serious as portrayed on the interweb. (Yes, okay guy. And I'm dating Gerard Butler.) She ended up resisting him for the most part until he parted ways with said allegedly casual girlfriend but I still remember she said to me, "I didn't go see him last night but Kate... he's such a cute little tool!" Aren't they all?

Charm is a way of getting the answer yes without asking a clear question. -Albert Camus

Another one of my favorite examples of such Don Juan-esque behavior happens to be one of my own experiences. Not too long ago, a man in probably his fifties or sixties approached me. He was definitely handsome, his age notwithstanding and he was clearly very educated in regards to the lady brain. I could tell by his incessant generic compliments and the fact that he looked in my eyes instead of down my blouse.

"I know you're married," he looked wounded and gestured towards my engagement and wedding rings, "but if you weren't, you would be all mine." I flashed my high wattage, most infectious smile and went about my business because I am above all things a lady. But seriously? I'd be "all yours" just like that? I wouldn't even have a choice or a say in the matter? You're just THAT amazing that I'd immediately fall under the spell of your fake tan and veneers? Who am I, Vera Cicero? And who are you, Lex Luthor? You have GOT to be kidding me. "You're strikingly beautiful," isn't going to get you anywhere with me, Mr. I drive a pearly white Mercedes and smoke cigars because I'm classically cool...

Moral of the Crazy: As I mentioned earlier, this is by no means a blog induced by man hating but I thought such an alleged devotion to lady pleasing deserved its own entry in the Blog of Crazy. I guess the reality of it is that as delicious as men are in general, the majority of them simply cannot be trusted. And the Lotharios, well, that obviously goes without saying. To their credit, however, because these men have literally coined the phrase "Ladies Man", they can be a lot of fun when used only as directed.

So keep your guard up, ladies, and let him buy you that drink! (Because A, you're obviously worth A MILLION free drinks and B, alcohol is expensive.) Just don't expect to bear his children or get a tour of his house. Or even know where his house is.

A gentleman is simply a patient wolf. -Lana Turner