And although this minute amount of knowledge about men could probably get me pretty far in life, there are some things that I wanted a better understanding of. Things like the Bro Code, made painfully more popular by the gel encrusted boys of the Jersey Shore. So I did some research... on the ever informative Urban Dictionary website. (Before you go and judge me, go to the website, friends. It's definitely an experience.)
Do you know that the most ridiculous thing about this is that there really is an honest to goodness Bro Code? I am not kidding you. Look it up on the Internet! (bebo.com/BroCode if you think I'm lying.) There is an actual constitution fashioned set of rules instituted by these ridiculous males. I mean, who has this kind of time on their hands to actually formulate these ludicrous rules? (Says the lady who looked them up on urbandictionary.com...) Among them, #2) Thou shalt not sleep with your Bro's ex girlfriend. And #13) No Public Displays of Affection with another Bro. #21) In a six person hot tub, there should be a maximum of three Bros. And the word "bro" is always capitalized, as if they're some kind royalty or Jesus Christ, himself. Are these boys serious with this noise? It's practically laughable. (My husband probably has it hanging up in his gym locker. Along with every other man.)
But here's my ailment, friends. If these rules are obviously so important to the point of publishing them on a professionally maintained website, why are these alleged Bro Code Rules incessantly broken? And what if some dangerous five foot two inch lady should capture the heart of a Bro and they get married? (Oh dear God, can you imagine? There MUST be a rule for that...) Is the lady permitted to befriend her Bro's Bro? And then, where does the loyalty lie? It just all seems very confusing, the line's so faint.
And here's yet a further explanation of said ailment: In another life, nearly a million years ago, I was entrapped in this absolutely wretched relationship. In retrospect, the comical thing was I seemed to be the only person who never picked up on the fact that my assailant ("ex boyfriend" just seems like far too generous of a word) was a worthless waste of abusive human flesh. His friends, co-workers, and family (and once even his boss) would incessantly tell me that I needed to find someone who didn't treat me like garbage. And the majority of these people were in the Public Service. Perhaps they found it their mission to save a Bro controlled citizen. Sort of like a fire fighting version of Clark Kent sans the sexy glasses.
I remember once, I was designated to drive one of his drunk friends home and the drunken Bro said to me, "What are you doing with him, Katie? He's terrible and you're perfect," his words were somewhat slurred as I carefully navigated his expensive foreign car. "You just deserve better."
And don't misunderstand this because he wasn't hitting on me or trying to exhibit behavior that was borderline inappropriate. Drunken Bro was being loyal to me because over the span of my monstrous relationship with his Bro, he and I developed a genuine friendship. And somewhere between the cuss words, name calling, and incessant bad behavior, the aforementioned Drunken Bro realized that yes, they may have been Bros but I was just an innocent bystander caught in the crossfire of a deadly and toxic person. So let's explore this friends: Was he truly breaking the purportedly sacred Bro Code? Or was he just, in fact, being a good human being? I'd like to think the latter, may he rest in peace.
Moral of the Crazy: All Bro Code basing aside, I kind of don't understand its purpose. I mean, in my experience, when men get angry at each other, they finish off a bottle of whiskey, a bottle of wine, or a case of beer and they duke it out. The Irish, the Italian, the Redneck, men the world over. It's just the natural order of things because men are animals who can't be bothered with rules. Especially if they have to sit down at their computer and read them. The Bro Code, although entertaining, just seems like overkill. And perhaps a bit emasculating, no?
Thoughts on the Bro Code?
I leave you an excerpt from some of the best literature I've ever set my pretty green eyes on. (That was very obviously sarcasm for those of you unclear on the concept.)
"15. Don't tell other Bro's elaborate stories about your weightlifting exercise routine." -the Bro Code
Comments
Post a Comment