Sex isn't all that important but it is when you love someone very much. -Ava Gardner

Over my adult years, I am almost completely certain that almost everyone that I have come into contact with has been exposed to infidelity in one way or another. Some seem to be incessantly stuck on the receiving end while others are implementing these said crimes of passion. I have known some to overcome it, although there are some that allow it to consume them, enabling those feelings of paranoia and betrayal to fester and eventually create an exceedingly bitter individual. One who lacks any ounce of self worth. To be honest, I have been on both sides of the spectrum. Both are beyond damaging.

The act of infidelity is something that has inexplicably plagued my short life. (Not to mention my ever rapidly beating heart...) I feel like everwhere I go, someone's cheating. Someone's lying. Someone has thought up some morbid alibi to convince their unsuspecting lady that everything is kosher. Everyone's words are seemingly full of such deception. Lately I've been thinking about cheating and the havoc it wreaks on a relationship. It's like my Marital Psychology professor once said: Cheating is like a hurricane hitting a new house. You can try to put the pieces back together but it will never be the same.

So why do people do it? And what is gained from the deception that you're feeding your loved one (or vice versa)? If it truly "means nothing", why then, does it occur? What are you getting from your mistress that your lady doesn't give you...?

These questions have been rattling around in my head since I was about eight years old, I think. So I'm choosing to explore them now.

But break my heart; for I must hold my tongue. -Hamlet I've often heard people say that a big reason they cheat is the thrill of the hunt. This, I don't understand. What could possibly be exciting, nay- THRILLING, about getting caught? I mean, BEST case scenario is that when your gorgeous, Kate Middleton looking girlfriend finds out, she doesn't leave you. And you pay the ultimate price of living and feeling the guilt from the pain you caused her. (And this is obviously all pending that you even have a conscious in the first place...) Personally, the guilt part is the absolute worst for me because the thought of hurting someone I care about for my own personal pleasure (... being the operative word) literally kills me. That hurt in their face would make me want to drink myself to death.

For there to be betrayal, there would have to have been trust first. -Suzanne Collins Another phrase commonly thrown around in regards to cheating is the ever popular "It meant nothing". It's so notorious in fact, that I'VE even used it! (Yes, it's true. What is it that Morgan Freeman once said? "You can't be old and wise without having first been young and crazy..."? Yes, I think that's it.) I wore that excuse like it was my Burberry perfume when I was young and didn't care. And sometimes even, when it was the truth.

But here's the thing: If it truly meant nothing, why did it take place? Did that "nothing" mean more to you than so many "somethings" that existed within your seemingly doomed relationship? (If you asked LeAnn Rimes, she'd have to answer "yes" because she ended up MARRYING THE GUY.) I mean, don't get me wrong: things do happen but I know there were times in my crazy days when I LET them happen because I WANTED them to. And the awful consequences that inevitably followed appeared to be worth it.

Cheating and lying aren't struggles. They're reasons to break up. -Patti Callahan Henry When I was new to the dating world, I was involved in this tumultuous love triangle. It's all a rather long and over played story but the main point is that my idiot boyfriend was cheating on me with a girl who was thankfully of my caliber (I don't really know why that matters...). But anyway, because of this, her and I waged a passionate war for literally years. (We have since made up, for those of you who are curious.) It took us actual YEARS to realize that instead of fighting with each other, what we should have done was kick his miserable, pathological lying carcass to the curb. Lying and cheating weren't the issues here. HE WAS.

I once had this friend who told me that they wanted to indulge in the things they wanted before they were too old to enjoy them. This person is in a very serious relatioship and presumably headed towards marriage.

Maybe we all cheat in one form or another. Maybe it's in our nature to deceive each other. But Moral of the Craziness: Cheating is bad, m'kay? Let's just hope we start each day with the intent to be better.

"Betrayal can only happen if you love." -John LeCarre