If you want to sacrifice the admiration of many men for the criticism of one, go ahead. Get married. -Katharine Hepburn

Here it is again: another little rancid blog about the dreaded "M Word". No, not money, manicures or Michael Kors... MARRIAGE. I find that a lot of people I'm acquainted with are in this crazy rush to get married. As if their life could be so easily validated by a notarized piece of paper. And some of these people are the same ones who tell me on a daily basis that I rushed into my marriage. They tell me this still, three years later! Every time someone says to me, "Well, Kate, you did rush into marriage..." I want to rush into flicking them in their face. (To those of you whom this applies, I still love you and it is only an imaginary flick. Just a small one brought forth by carnie hands.)

What’s interesting is I may have allegedly rushed into said married (after an eleven month engagement, by the way) but I wasn’t incessantly nagging my would be future husband about it like so many ladies do. In fact, we never even really talked about it. But when he asked me, I couldn’t imagine anything that I wanted more. (Except maybe a black Cadillac CTS. No, I kid... kind of.)

I was never one of those girls who dreamt about Prince Charming. To piss off my mom, I would say, ‘I’m never having kids and I’m going to be a fabulously rich old maid with cute butlers and dogs!’ -Jessica Biel As far as my marriage, excluding my recent decision to dye my hair red, it’s by far the best decision I’ve ever made in my short twenty-six (eek!!) years. Because I take the idea so seriously, I can’t understand why people put so much pressure on their boyfriends to propose marriage. I mean, to me, if you have a hard time committing to a long distance carrier, you probably shouldn’t jump off the single’s boat so impulsively. And likewise for your impatient trophy wife hopeful. It’s not a race, friends! It’s an institution! (... and I don’t know if you know this but that’s where they put crazy people!)

I just so happened to be one of those people: Certifiable. Commitment phobic. Nearly impossible to satisfy. There was absolutely NO WAY I was getting married. I mean, really, nothing short of an LSD induced trance was going to get me to commit to another human being. A full grown man, no less!

She’s got gaps and I got gaps, and between the two of us, our gaps meet. And we sort of... fill each other in. -Rocky Balboa The truth is that I know so few marriages to be a long term success. I come from a long line of emotional delinquents, especially when it comes to love and relationships. So naturally, the thought of marriage, or even a long term commitment left something of a bad taste in my mouth. Especially after all that I had been through.

And then I met the man that saved my life. Someone who "filled my gaps". That was almost five years ago.

Boys in their twenties are a waste of time. They have nothing to offer conversationally. -Megan Fox My frustration with marriage by force is sort of like when I took violin lessons. For those of you who don’t already know, my dad is a classically trained musician. He’s an amazing semi-famous pianist and as such, my sister (who later went on to teach and perform music professionally) and I came out of the womb as what you’d call "natural born musicians". When I was four or five, my dad decided I was going to be a violinist. He got me the best teacher in our area (she was a performer with the Naples Philharmonic) and bought three German imported violins so that as I grew, I would have an instrument that was just my size. (I don’t think he planned for me to reach my maximum height when I was ten years old...)

My parents paid a small fortune for my aforementioned violin ventures and do you know what I did? I played the songs I had learned during my violin lessons on my dad’s piano by ear. Because I didn’t like the violin. It was hard and I got sick of constantly having to rosin my bow. My rendition of Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star sounded like squawking no matter how much wax I rubbed on those stupid strings. So I tickled the ivories by ear because it was easier. What a rebel.

But do you know what my kind hearted parents did? Instead of forcing me to do something I clearly wasn’t all that passionate about, they got me piano lessons. (... and then later clarinet lessons... and bassoon lessons. Turns out I’m a musical prodigy.)

Annnnd where was I going with this...? Oh, right!

Men (and obviously women) cannot be given deadlines or guilt trips regarding marriage proposals. It won’t work. If it’s right, you’ll both want the same things and move towards an ultimate goal and future together. These things can’t be time sensitive or they’ll erupt. Just ask Britney Spears and Kevin Federline!

To me, marriage is just a piece of paper (and if you’re lucky like I am, a nice rock). Weddings are wonderful but a novelty. When you’re old, sick and weak, it won’t matter how much your dress cost, but who will be there to hold your hand in the hospital. It won’t matter if the proposal came when and how you wanted, but that you have someone to keep your tootsies warm under the covers. (I don’t know about yours but my tootsies are always FREEZING so these are things of importance to me.)

My husband and I brush off those nay sayers because we weren’t in a rush. We would have made it legal when we did or ten years from now but regardless, we planned to be together for the long haul. And that’s all that really matters.

Moral of the Craziness: It’s surely not a race but friends, when it’s right, it’s right. And sometimes you just know. Instead of Pinning your hopefully future wedding, climb in your bed and make sure he can warm your feet beneath the covers. That’s how you really know it’s right.

"When a man loves a woman, periodically he needs to pull away before he can get closer." -John Gray